February 2011
Separation & Individuation
Today has been a very emotionally affecting day, a day I’ve avoided for a while now. My days have been filled with positive motivation all up until today. Maybe there was a trigger, maybe because it started off bad, I directed the rest of the day towards a path of negative events. Whatever. Either way, half the day is over, and I feel like shit. I feel like someone just pummeled over my...
It’s that stranded but surrounded feeling that I’ve got.
January 2011
Love whoever the fuck you want. Such an intricate connection, nobody can tell you how to share it.
The most tired part of my body next to my mind and mouth, is my eyes.
opaque
I find it so sad how little of my trust lies with people, and how much of it I’ve learned to only invest within myself.
Toast, to learning, realizing, burning & being burned.
Straight talk
I hate being the fucking soaking sponge for your issues. If you have anxiety or stress today, take it out in your writing. I’m not the damn doll for your distress. You gotta problem mother, then you either let it go and forget it, or solve it. Solving it is unlikely, so you better figure out how to let shit go.
I need to figure out how to let shit go. I don’t blame you, I am you....
Let go & free yourself.
please
I want someone who will drink whiskey, read...
wingedthought:
where are you dream-man?
1 tag
Eat. Travel. Love.
When I was younger, scratching through tough hormonal pre-teenager years, I was terrified of traveling, more so terrified of missing anything that would change at home. Terrified that everyone would forget me. As if what? That it would suddenly start snowing in LA? Now that I’ve grown a few years on my shoulders, I have this sweet sexual desire to travel everywhere, all at once, as far as my...
Salt burns the lungs.
My mother the seashell,
bruised with grooves of age,
her pearls reflecting off moonlight.
Having passed through oceans and oceans,
having passed through constellations of different nations,
with her taking each of their sensations,
Or so it seems.
& right as she gets back on her feet,
a tide captures her, lusting for the secrets in her echo,
burning salt through while she’s...
I forget
I remember milky days, in a foggy haze, living like we’re dancing through the, milky way.
I remember sunny winters, and rainy heat.
I remember believing the human heart holds the capacity to transform itself into steel, not in the sense of heartbreak, but in the sense of being so ignorantly convinced you are invincible. Endorphins such as desire release mentalities that are ultimately...
and not in the logical kinda way
Lifted
I have this overwhelming sensation of sadness tightening around my heart. It’s that feeling of resistance.
I’m really better off doing this with spontaneous actions. Settling because I feel suffocated, is such a fatal way to live.
thosedamncitykids asked: you're amazing, i love you and your writings.
exhausted. Are there any breaks in life?
Anonymous asked: you are so beautiful!
where do you enjoy shopping?
where do you enjoy shopping?
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
still before the storm
Anxiety is such a sneaky creature. It creeps up from under you as if it was waiting in crevices under your buried doubts. It slowly comes over you like a cloud. One little worry has suddenly turned into an absolute catastrophic event that WILL happen NO MATTER WHAT. Next thing you know, you’re suddenly suffocating under the opaque veil of irrationality. Suddenly you don’t know, and...
Got my middle finger up, & I don’t really give a fuck.
yadada mean?
There’s a certain pleasure that comes with knowing nobody is reading what you write. The minute you know certain eyes lay on your words is the minute your writing becomes tweaked. Altered a comma here, a letter there. It was such a luxury to me to get to whine all day and night on a blog nobody had the link to, but tumblr’s too mainstream for that.
I don’t think tumblr could...
Women power
I love being a female, but females are just so damn manipulative.
Next Tattoo:
“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds & diamonds are made under pressure.”
Such a permanent addiction.
Where did the real shit go?
What happened to people writing real raw poetry, or entries?
I’ve seen maybe a couple… barely.
: (
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
– Maya Angelou (via kari-shma)
i miss my best friend.
I miss trusting a best friend.
blind walking
I think I’m done, twisting and turning, screaming and churning under your arms. I think I’m done squirming. I think my heart has started to give in again, and just settle, quiet down to a steady rhythm. But because it makes me happy? I think, or because you’ve trained me well to not see any other way.
Deja-Vu
Do you remember watching the ocean? I remember tiptoeing up to the water, counting with my eyes & anticipation, waiting to see how long it would be before water would open its smile wide, and try to touch my feet. Its fingers would twinkle in sunlight, teasing my toes to tip further. I’d play a little game with the water. I’d tickle a little smile on, and dance around the...
Letting go can be the most freedom of feelings...
Sometimes, in order to feel light, to let go, to be relieved, you need to come to terms with yourself. Love every aspect of yourself, love the negativity that swarms through your bones & turn it into positivity. Love the attributes that others bathe in of yourself. You need to accept, to swallow, to embrace. Like a butterfly through your palms, shut it tight, then let it fly free.
Let...
History repeats itself.
Maybe I was born clean, and as I twirled through my adolescent years, a disease clung to my heart. The disease to sacrifice myself many times over, in order to accommodate another. The disease of constant forgiveness, even though I’ve learned over and over, that history repeats itself. History is an ironic thing, because people just continue to repeat the same actions over and over. Which...